Exploding Poohsticks

You deserve so much more, but this is all the fic my brain is willing to yield right now:

Their lives on the farm were peaceful, for the most part, although both men remained in fighting trim well into old age. Their superlative fitness was in part due to Lupin's inability to resist teasing his partner on occasion, resulting in few-holds-barred duels until they were both exhausted. Lupin never did find out why, during Snape's turns to milk the Guernseys, the word "cow-ward" was such a trigger.

*grins* *HUGS* *flees barrage of pumpkin seeds*

There once was a fan named Valis
renowned for her absence of malice
as through each vacation
with lens and crustacean
she analysed Snape's busy phallus.

(Happy birthday, sweetie! *grins and flees*)

(1) We were both raised in Southern states.

(2) We both graduated from colleges in Chicago.

(3) We've both played in RPGs.

(4) We both have birthdays in May.

(5) We're both registered at donorschoose.org, which coordinates donations (of any amount) to help fund supplies and projects for classrooms in need.

To wish Mr. Colbert a happy birthday, click here.

To look at some of the proposals I'd love to see funded, see here.

*blatant nudging and encouragement*



On a side note, I'm going to be away from home most of May, which means I'm about to become even slower and more sporadic about reading, writing, and general getting-around-to-stuff than I already am. If you've reason to hear from me and it fails to happen promptly (or at all), please do feel free to send me a heads-up via e- or snail mail (which is a good general rule in any case, since the spam filter is at times overly zealous). Also, if you've reason to hope for a postcard from me and you've moved (or if you'd like to become someone with whom I exchange postcards...), now would be an excellent time to update me on your current coordinates. :-)

Dear bitterfig, I am late in the day, but this is for you. May your 37th year bring you better health and bright joys.

( If I owned the wind and the trees, I would )

Title: Outskirting the Dark
Reason: It's valis2's birthday! ... and at Terminus, she mentioned being such a h/c junkie that she'd read h/c "even with Lupin in a fairy skirt," which is pretty much tantamount to waving a fat juicy cabbage in front of a plotbunny with my name on its hell-bound handbasket.... (Happy birthday, sweetie! *squeezes*)
Words: ~1600
Pairing: Snape/Lupin
Rating: PG
Warning: I couldn't resist including a Valis Sue, a Gillian Sue, a marginaliana Sue, and a Ribbons Stu. *ducks barrage of flying vegetation*
Summary: Snape's in Chicago. Lupin's in a fairy skirt. Hurt-comfort ensues.

Fall 2008

( Severus Snape had fainted only once before in his life... )

[1] That would be Michael Jordan. After he left Chicago, he played for a team called the Wizards -- what, you thought that was just happenstance? ;-)

(1) drachenmina's An Unpleasant Man at the Bellona Club (drabble with LP, Bunter, and Snape...)

(2) drachenmina's An Inconvenient Affliction. Author's summary: "Harry’s been kicked out by Severus and is having to share Ron and Hermione’s spare bed with Crookshanks. Who gets Kneazle Flu. Can things get any worse? Oh yes." Ribbons's reaction: It's NC-17 Snarry, which I know some of you would normally avoid like the plague, but I feel compelled to point out that Harry's of age, there's non-sickening Hermione/Ron, there's mention of Bagpuss, and that the author knows cats. Oh, does she know cats. Put beverages out of range of keyboard before reading.

(3) It has been a hell of a week - one of these years, I hope to get my shit together enough to stop feeling like I haven't managed to get my shit together since, well, ever...

...but it is also absolutely impossible to feeling sorry for myself for more than a few moments at a time, considering the myriad blessings in my life -- including a surprise package in Monday's mail that contained...



...a necklace featuring the Whomping Willow. With a Snape quotation, no less. Made by the utterly, unbelievably fabulous westernredcedar. (I almost titled this post "From tree to shining tree..." *eg*) I feel like I've somehow won some sort of cosmic bingo for OTP-indulgence I didn't even know I was playing - I can snuggle the pendant up to my squid when I'm not wearing it, and when I feel like celebrating my other OTP, there's a Remus-keytag marginaliana made it can nestle with.

And I can also go revisit the other treasures written and drawn and translated for me, or inhale a scent, or brew some tea, or reread cards and letters, or fondle feathers, beads, and ribbons -- I have such clever, crafty, comforting, generous friends. I am so utterly grateful that you are in my life. It's not the things in themselves, fun and hilarious and charming as they are - they wouldn't matter one bit if they weren't infused with how you are fun and feisty and thought-provoking and thoughtful. And because they are and because you are, my life is rich beyond measure.

Happy birthday, my dear. May you enjoy good health, good books, and many other felicities the whole year 'round.

[100 words, G, Alys/Simon with a hint of past Bunter/Alys. ;-) ]


There was a vase of red flowers in their room. The bouquet had looked perfect to him when he turned on the lights, but it looked even better after Alys glided up to it and rearranged three of the blooms.

Her compulsive competence contained an invisible edge that intrigued him, but he'd held off asking where she'd honed her skills. Later, she showed him several vid pix of herself dressed in a peculiar costume, carefully rinsing and drying porcelain ornaments.

"Someone who understood you took those," he murmured.

"Yes," she said, and she let her head rest against his shoulder.

The wrongness: The Dark Is Rising movie is sponsoring a fanfic contest for teenagers. On FanLib.

Actually, I should hold off on the snark until I see what transpires. After all, it'll likely prompt some kids to read the source material, which would be to the good.

The goodness: it's musigneus's birthday! How is she marvelous? Let me enumerate a handful of the ways:

(1) she was one of the very first people to comment on my fics, and she has continued to provide encouragement and sympathy during my protracted battles with plotzillas.

(2) she issued my skyehawke invitation.

(3) she has written some of my favorite Snape/Lupin fics. The Short Measure series is one of my comfort reads.

(4) she beta'd two not-yet-in-circulation fics that I consider among my better stories.

(5) she digs science and children's books and other niftinesses.

Happy birthday, dear one! *lights fireworks and scampers off to hunt down a certain plot-bauble*

Darling busaikko-san --

It's already the 21st in Japan, I do believe. The fic-bunnies remain banished under the bed, but here, you mentioning Will/Bran woke up the 100-word-muse for a sec...

( Castling: two pieces moving simultaneously... )

---

Quote of the day: "Rabbits are creatures of warm, volatile temperament but shallow and absurdly transparent." - Beatrix Potter. Ha! Take that, you plot-fiends! :-)

---

Last but most definitely far from least: almost_clara has drawn The Hat! Gleeeeeeeee!

Title: Taken, Not Granted
Author: bronze_ribbons
Pairings: Tonks/Lupin, Lupin/Snape
Warning: adultery and angst (no, they aren't synonyms)
Rating: R
Words: ~ 1600
Summary: It was not the epiphany Snape had been looking for.
Beta: the beauteous busaikko (who suggests the White Stripes' cover of "Jolene" after reading this)
A/N: For regan_v, in honour of her birthday. She recently reminded her friends that she's been harbouring a hankering for fics about Snape as a party to adultery. I hope this helps scratch a corner of the itch. :-)

( Read more... )

[Snape/Lupin, 100 words. Lupin's question shamelessly nicked from some macher commenting at my other LJ... ;-) Yom hudelet sameach, chaveri!]

---

Lupin knit his brows. “I don’t get it. What good will it do you that baking soda is mutar if you’re to shun gebrachts?”

Snape snapped his knife-case shut. “Now you realise how much the Minister hates me? Not only am I to impersonate a Muggle pastry chef, I’m to pass as a kosher cake-baker. I’d rather juggle Ashwinder eggs.”

“It’ll keep your arms in shape,” Lupin soothed. “The better to surround me with, when you return.”

Snape pinned Lupin against the wall. “The better to devour you with.”

Lupin sighed, and then gasped. “O, my love, what teeth you have…”

For thermidor. Happy birthday, gal, and may the Force of Well-Wrought Clawses be with you always.

[100 words, G, Snape/Lupin, Draco/Charlie.]


“It looks like a giant lobster,” Lupin mildly observed.

Draco hid his mortification by demanding, “Since when was lobster ever in your budget?

Lupin’s pleasant expression didn’t change. “As it happens, tomalley’s an essential ingredient in Wolfsbane.”

Snape was eyeing the hybrid dragon speculatively. “We could experiment…”

Draco groaned. “Do you ever look at anything without seeing it as a prospective ingredient?”

Lupin murmured, “If it’s not an ingredient, it’s usually target practice.”

Snape shot him an “Is not!” look. Lupin slyly added, “I’m often one or the other.”

“Fine, Lupin. You measure the creature for its jumper from Molly.”

Bestest birthday wishes to you, _lore!

When AUs collide: a note from placet!Paola to trio_snape, accompanying a Ravenclaw prefect and two enormous hampers, all delivered via a Kitty-chan portkey:

Caro Severus,

I know you didn't think so, but I was in fact listening when you lectured me yet again on the reduced efficacy of certain ingredients when miniaturized or otherwise unduly stressed -- that, and I really have no desire to pack your squid beaks, spider flosses, sea-urchin squirt-paks, twenty varieties of Fukushima fungi, and other unholy, ungodly, and otherwise unlovely requests with my silks and brocades. Hence, I'm sending them ahead with Miss Kandeko (who is a most sensible child, and this was truly the best field excursion ever. I can't wait to show you the data we collected in Aizu). She is also bringing some chocolate confections from Kanazawa Station for that long-suffering partner of yours -- who knew there were so many good patisseries this side of Paris? -- and a bottle of sake from Hashiguchi-san. That you remember her fondly is no mystery whatsoever; why she remembers you with affection would be far more baffling had she not seized her first available opportunity to show off a certain set of thoroughly annotated notebooks from your last sojourn here, gabbling your praises at two hundred kilometres an hour. Honestly, Severus, your neverceasing compulsion to improve things is ... adorable (as I know Remus tells you constantly, and I somehow suspect you still don't believe). Yes, yes, I realize you're scowling at me now (as if you ever stopped); I shall Apparate home shortly so that you can indulge in the satisfaction of doing so in person -- and, of course, to address whatever traumas you'll claim to have inflicted on my classes during my absence. If you haven't assigned at least seven double-detentions to the Wimseys I shall know that you are truly becoming a softie.

Con affetto,
Paola

[Postscript - charmed for Snape's eyes only:

Yes, I also picked up the specially charmed haori you requested for Remus, and I can't wait to see him in it. Have I told you lately how much better he looks since you became a couple? (Of course I have -- but it pleases me to keep reminding you. It is far too much fun watching you attempt to accept compliments and plan vengeance on me simultaneously. Isn't it a pity that I really am the best Astronomy instructor you know?) Millione baci! P.]